


Fiberglass Pirates

by GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)



Series: Kylux Cryptids AU [20]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bickering, Cheating, Comedy, Competition, Flirting, Golf, Kylo Still Has The Force, M/M, Physical Disability, miniature golf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9372401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/pseuds/GenerallyHuxurious
Summary: Hux and Kylo have gone south for the winter. After failing to get into Disney for New Years Eve in 'Fireworks', they decide to visit some of Florida's other tourist attractions. Such as an elaborate pirate themed miniature golf course. Of course they both play fair like the mature adults they are... Right?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fedaykin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fedaykin/gifts).



> I don't know when I wrote this, I found it in a .txt file of about 30 WIPs, but it fits into the timeline for their first winter.

"I should warn you, I'm very competitive."

"Really, Hux?" Kylo said, hands framing his face in mock surprise. "You don't say? I never would have guessed if you hadn't told me that, it would have..."

"Fuck off!" Hux sighed, then glanced around guiltily in case any children had heard. The mini-golf course seemed to be quiet so close to opening time. Kylo wanted to go back to the Wizard World of Harry Potter, again, but Hux had insisted on doing literally anything else first for the sake of his sanity. If Kylo pointed out his resemblance to that oldest Weasley  _ one more time _ he might just beat him to death with a broomstick.

"Can I get a red ball please? It's my lucky colour," Kylo asked the assistant in the booth, a young man with multi-colored hair and too many piercings who flushed when the Kylo fluttered of his eyelashes. "My friend will have pink."

"Your boyfriend is going to push you into a water feature if you get him anything but orange." Hux hissed just loud enough for the man in the booth to hear. He paled slightly as he switched the colours and handed over the clubs.

Snatching them up Kylo stomped out towards the difficult course.

"Don't worry, just a bit of pre-game psychological warfare," Hux said with a smile and a wink toward the booth.

By the time Hux had caught up with Kylo he was casually balancing a putter on the end of one finger. It wasn’t an impressive feat, given that Kylo could just use his ‘talent’ to keep it in place, but it was an excuse to show off his physique. Because of course, now that they were somewhere warm, he was wearing on of those ridiculous vest shirts again, the ones with the armholes that extended nearly to the waist. 

The flex of his tattoo'd arm and the glimpses of exposed torso were enough to make Hux regret their early start. Perhaps they should have stayed in bed again...

"Do they even have mini-golf in England?" Kylo asked, throwing Hux his own club.

Donal rolled his eyes as he snatched it out of the air, closely followed by his thankfully orange ball. "It's not some alien planet you know, of course we do! They're not as fancy as this of course, most of the ones I went to as a child were just expanses of concrete and felt next to cold British beaches. But it's all just maths really. Very convoluted snooker played in three dimensions. It's a lot of fun to work out how to beat the holes in the most efficient way possible."

He'd been looking around at the first few holes, already beginning the calculations in his head. When he realised Kylo hadn't said anything in reply he turned to find him staring with an appalled expression. "Math? Are you saying you do algebra for fun?"

"Geometry, Kylo," Hux sighed, "though I have been known to enjoy a bit of algebra at times."

"You disgusting pervert."

Hux glared. "Just get on with it."

For the first five holes or so Donal was too wrapped up in scoping out what he could see of the course to notice that Kylo was getting exactly the same scores as him. It was only on the sixth, where a large replicate pirate ship blocked the view to the next hole that he actually paid attention.

It hadn't occurred to him before that Kylo's shoulder injury might make fine motor control like this difficult. His own knees threw him off a little, so of course the damage to Kylo's right arm should have at least some effect. And it did. The ball went far wide of the ideal line on the first stroke, and yet it still ended up where it was supposed to be. Hux frowned. The same on the next shot. The actual putt itself was fine but the two shots before it made no sense in terms of the proper action of gravity. By the eighth hole he was sure. Kylo was using his telekinetic ‘talent’ on the ball.

Donal felt conflicted. On the one hand Kylo clearly enjoyed the game, so if this was the only way for him to play then who was Hux to deny him? But, on the other hand, they were both disabled but Hux didn't have the same advantage. He only had his analytical mind to help him, was that fair?

He pondered the question for another four holes until the ball went so far wide it went off the course and towards the water. Kylo stopped it with a wave of his hand.

"you cheating little shit," Hux hissed, glancing around furtively in case anyone had spotted this excessive display of weirdness. Fortunately the course was still deserted but for them.

"Oh come on!" Kylo laughed, dropping the ball close to where it had left the course. "What did you expect?! I always play like this!"

"You... You... Git!" Hux spluttered, his face flushing to match his hair, "I've been struggling with the moral dilemma of objecting to what I thought was a crutch for your disability and you're telling me you ALWAYS cheat?!"

"Hey, chill, it's not cheating. Well, the courses around D.C. think it is, that's why they banned me for life. But really, it's just like what you do with your brain."

"What?" Hux asked. "Think?! How is thinking the same as telekinesis?!"

"Well not all of us can do what you do..."

"You certainly can't!"

"Fuck you! You can't turn off your brain and I can't turn off my... whatever. It's instinctive."

Hux harrumphed. "Fine, just don't be so blatant."

Well, if Kylo couldn't turn off his powers, his  _ psychic _ as well as telekinetic powers, well then  _ of course _ Donal wouldn't turn off his brain. His loud, perverse, and very distracting brain. His brain that thought so loudly that it had gotten Kylo naked and into his hospital bed after only three days. His very analytical brain that could recall in technicolour  _ exactly  _ what they did last night, for example, at the precise moment Kylo took the first swing on the next hole.

Kylo fell over. Hux cackled.

Hux stepped up to the tee. Kylo groped his arse with his "Force Trick". Hux gritted his teeth and made the shot anyway.

Now it was war.

By hole seventeen Hux was regretting his choice to wear skinny jeans and a button down shirt. At least Kylo could pull the front of his loose vest down to hide his erection. They'd had to stop twice to make out against the pirate-themed fibreglass dioramas like horny teenagers. Hux would have been embarrassed if he'd had enough blood flow to his brain to focus on both the reality of the situation  _ and _ the need to beat Kylo at this damned game.

They were still on exactly the same score, it was maddening. Glancing around at the still empty course Hux had an idea.

As Kylo was awkwardly setting up his ball on the tee Hux sidled up to him, pressing his front against the larger man's back. Kylo whined.

"Play this hole without your tricks and if you still manage to finish the game at four over par or less, and I'll give you a hand job in the cave that leads to hole eighteen."

Leaning back heavily against the redhead Kylo sighed. "Jesus Hux, you filthy fuck. What if I don't?"

Hux grinned. "Then you get to give me head."

"Well that sounds like I win either way. Why this hole though? Eighteen is inside the cave, wouldn't that be easier? You could already have your hands in my leggings ready to fulfil your half of the bet!"

"No Kylo, because you'd have to be on your knees because I'm going to win. Besides, I want you to use your talent on eighteen since that will win us a discounted game and I want a second round so I can properly thrash you."

"Fine but if I win round two I'm going to fuck your brains out in the back of the Fury."

"Dream on darling, when I win you can drive us back to the hotel and fuck me there instead."

Hux won round one. Round two was a draw. They never did get back to Universal Studios that day.


End file.
